new beginnings and my relationship with time

What are your internal rhythms telling you? What do you know to be true?

I've had this page for a long time, and whenever I think I have the second or third wind to create again, life knocks me off my feet.

When I first set up my Patreon, I had high hopes of being productive, creating as if it were something that just needed to flow out of me-"create, and it will all fall into place."

I was wrong. Overworked, underpaid, physically, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted from life and societal systems that continue to crush and further marginalize those of us in the global majority, everything I thought I knew imploded.

This is not life--at least, this is not the life I want. Convenience that comes at the price of others' lives--the destruction of land, sky, and sea--of other living sentient beings--business as usual during an ongoing pandemic of airborne pathogens that have ripped away millions before their time--business as usual during multiple genocides where the wellness and health industry push "coping" and "manifesting" as bloodlines of indigenous people globally are calling for brutal and unthinkable violence to end.

Time — there's no time like now. There's all the time in the world. Until the person or people you love die.

I look to my pets, who experience time in ways that I think we've been made to forget — their internal rhythm lets them know when it's time to eat, play, rest, and be. As someone who loves writing and creating art, my internal rhythm can feel broken at times.

Routine? Don't know her. Grief? My lifelong friend. My relationship with time is forever changing, evolving, and expanding. I no longer subscribe to self-care, cope, because what the fuuuu---i, we, you--do not exist in a vacuum. As long as these horrendous conditions persist, and it's business as usual, our relationship with ourselves, each other, the land, sky, and sea, with time, will continue to go against what we know internally to be true:

What are your internal rhythms telling you? What do you know to be true?

Life, my existence, is not above anyone else's. Life that comes at the violence and the annihilation of a people, other sentient beings, lands, skies, and seas is not a life, but is never-ending destruction and demise.

I will write more. I've been writing. I will art more. I have to.

I will resist what is being forced on many of us — to continue with business as usual. I dream of a world that nourishes all life, where the global majority are free, and I believe it will be in this lifetime.

welcome.